Michele Villett Shears
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Today is January 1, 2020. And it is quiet. It is not a mistake that I choose this state of being to write my first post, as it lends itself quite nicely to turning inward and checking to see what is happening soul side. I'm nervous. My fear often jumps up right about now and starts nattering about the many reasons I should not pursue writing in any fashion. "You don't know how, really. Your grammar sucks. You aren't committed enough. You know you will fail, right?" Yup, alive and well old fear is, but I'm going to do this despite it. And if it is so compelled, it can come along for the ride, but with each post, I know it's grip will lessen and my purpose will be illuminated and take me places I can't even fathom right now. So, slow and steady, here we go!
~ Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine within yourself so that you can hear it in others. ~
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Let's talk about quiet. Our world has become so noisy, and for most of us, we were never taught the art of being quiet. The beauty of it. The restorative power it has, and why it is so important. One thief of our quiet is technology. We are so connected to it, and dependant on it now, and it's quickness, it's instant gratification and how much it seemingly makes life easier for us. But it all adds volume to our life in a way that actually deafens and disconnects us. From ourselves, from our friends and family as well. And when I think back on my own childhood (little tech distraction) vs. my life now, (multiple avenues of tech distraction),I actually feel anxious!
In my early years, I learned to cultivate solitude. I had time to be quiet. And I loved it. I craved it. Alone time, is where I discovered so many things about life, people, relationships and connections or lack of them. It was in the quiet that I discovered my passion for writing. Where I ate up books. Where I fostered my imagination. In the quiet, I learned about my body, loving it, hating it, fighting with it. I queried, I bawled, felt self righteous, terrified, humble, embarrassed, angry, crazy, all the emotions! So much more of my life has been spent in these delicious spaces of quiet and solitude, and it strikes me now how very much I miss that. Becoming overwhelmed happens more quickly and frequently for me, and I believe it's the lack of quiet time and space that I have previously enjoyed.
Sure, sure, the gift of technology allows us to work more efficiently, get more done, and is being able to see and hear our loved ones who live distantly from us. Yet I find, when we are together, our faces are glued to our phones, we are watching noise on our laptops, our TV's, gaming, and endlessly scrolling.We aren't chatting much, connecting, hearing nor seeing each other much anymore. And that volume, for me, is at an alarming level.
~ When was the last time you spent a quiet moment just doing nothing - just sitting and looking at the sea, or watching the wind blowing the tree limbs, or waves rippling on a pond, a flickering candle or children playing in the park? ~
Volume, in the sense of outside noise, is an all day affair. When did you last attend a time of day, an event, meeting, or even an evening with friends/family where there were no phones involved? Just good old fashioned conversation, debate, discussion in all it's glory and awkwardness. Where you made eye contact with the person you were speaking with? Really, seeing them. Hearing them. Where there was quiet air between you and another, and you didn't feel panicky to fill it up? When was the last time you picked up a book instead of your phone or turning on a TV, or your laptop? When was the last time you were just still? Quiet? And loved it? Walked in the quiet of nature?
Along with the volume of outside noise, we add the volume of constant inner chatter where we are judging ourselves and others for not measuring up to all our expectations and beliefs and ideas about how life should be unfolding. It's loud out there. And we aren't very good yet at turning the dial down. In fact, many of us despise quiet. When we unplug, from "doing", and move into "being," where life is actually occurring on a real and profound level, we are uncomfortable for the most part. We don't call up a friend or loved one. We don't "pop in" anywhere anymore. We don't even notice how lovely the quiet is. We grab for the comfort and safety of our phones, Netflix, incessant news reels, and anything else that keeps the quiet at bay. I struggle myself. It's easy to stay busy and noisy. You don't' have to face fear, or feel your humility for behaving badly. You don't have to think of others and your unraveling relationships.You don't have to be honest with yourself about where you are in your life. You require less of yourself. It's pretty comfy cozy to stay on the safe side of noise.
~ In quiet places, reason abounds. ~
Yet I also know and am aware of the volume quiet has for me and I value it deeply. I feel that quiet is like an ever present educator that is available to everyone, should they see the value in engaging with it. When quiet happens, all of a sudden, the volume of life turns up. Not obtrusively, but in a genuine and authentic awakening. You begin to come to life, vs. running from it, and filling it with grating and soul depleting noise. It begins to sharpen your senses. It encourages you to risk and explore. And to visit more often. It has the ability to teach us more about ourselves, our choices, and corresponding consequences. It teaches us that we are more resilient than we think, because in fact, the quiet is where we tackle some of the most difficult aspects of our lives, and we come out the other side, a little wiser and more confident most often. It offers rejuvenation of our spirits. It teaches us to explore our true purpose; our creativity and what our souls crave. We begin to listen and the volume of the quiet becomes an undeniable harmony that we learn is so full of possibility. It teaches us the value and importance of rest, which we get less and less of these days. We learn to meditate in the quiet. We reflect in the quiet. We are able to practice honesty more, in the quiet. It teaches us to risk more, reach more, require more of ourselves. The possibilities are endless!
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How might your life be different today, if you added some quiet? What if you made friends with quiet? Shine a little soft light in it's corner, and make it a comfy place to visit?
Invitation
For now, grab a pen and paper. Ideally, a journal/notebook. Be intentional with that journal. Add a title to suit your experience. I've titled mine "My way back to the quiet, and the lessons I learn there." If you don't want to write, just be quiet. Be still. And observe. Start with 5 solid minutes of uninterrupted time for quiet, somewhere in your day.I prefer mornings, as this time seems to suit my senses that are busy coming to life again. No stress, no pressure, no expectations (an upcoming blog). Just explore what happens. Are you relieved? Anxious? Uncomfortable? Happy? Relaxed? If you're able to, jot down all the things you felt in that 5 minutes. It's a great starting point to explore quiet and it's place or absence in your life. And as you get comfortable again or perhaps for the first time in your life with quiet, keep adding more time and enjoy all the lessons waiting for you there!
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh..............
